Hmmmm.....
Inspired to write this post by poo. Yes, you got it,
P O O! Otherwise known as Shit, Crap, Bog, Turds, Bum nuggets...yeah, you get the drift.
As a mother of three, I have to admit, I am fascinated, and possibly, preoccupied, with poop. You can tell a lot about the health of your child, by analyzing their crap, or lack thereof. Which brings me to my Special K.
Yes, lately she has had a turd problem....that is there was none. Zero. Five whole days past, and no nuggets, not even a skiddy. Now this quite possibly is not a big issue, five days without a poo, for your average 12 year old. But the fact that K had been to say the least "irritable" would be the understatement of the millennium. How about we try for possessed by the devil, growing horns and in need of an exorcism.....
I wasn't entirely sure what was going on with my poor, darling, non verbal Miss K, but I had a pretty good mothers intuition that Poo had something to with it. A trip to the doctors at 9.30 in the morning turned into a showdown, the likes of which you might see on Biker Wars (minus the guns and leathers).
Honestly, just the thought of the doctor putting that thermometer thingy in her ear was enough to cause a meltdown to rival Chernobyl. Come back at 1.30, the doc suggested, we'll try again. In tears of frustration, I plodded out of the doctors office, wondering "how are we going to get to the bottom of this?" - pun intended!
Back home, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Exercise, that brings on bowel movements. Walking. Simple, easy, no equipment required. To the bush! Great idea...not.
Special K, did NOT like the exercise idea. She cried, whined, screamed, stamped her feet, picked up stones and threw them (luckily not at me!)...then she stopped! Over and over again. Righto, I decided. I need a prodder...
So with that, I found myself the perfect prodding stick and gently poked the stalling Miss K into marching mode. Worked a dream....30 minutes later, we are deep in the local state park.
Mobile phone reception is good out there, in case anyone is interested. Emergency call, incoming, from Mr Ex. He had been enlisted to pick up Miss Bones, from kinder at midday. All was going to plan until Boy Child decided 20 minutes before pick up, that he needed to use the loo. Yep, you guessed it - Number Twos - and to add a bit of extra excitement, he was, well.....stuck. You know the scenario, halfway between start and finish.
I'm clearly of no help, thirty minutes by foot from home, poking child number one with a stick forcing her to walk out a bowel movement, while child number two is stuck in the twilight zone and is adamant that he cannot "break it off and come back to finish it later"
Mr Ex had no choice but to dash out for the kinder run, leaving Boy Child, ensconced on the loo with the portable phone in hand and me on speed dial should he need assistance in the way of verbal encouragement until he got back.
Oh dear.
Yes, he managed to get relief and survived the 15 minutes home alone, but not without a phone call to mother, for that verbal encouragement. "Go son, you can do it, just keep squeezing!"
Unfortunately, our bush march didn't have the same result for Special K. Back at the docs at 1.30pm was much like Ground Hog Day. Any move the Doc made that K perceived to be in her direction was not welcome. In the end, it was agreed, that blocked pipes where the most likely scenario and we were sent away with instructions on what to buy at the chemist to get this kid moving. By the end of the consultation, Kayla was smirking at the doctor as if to say "I win!"
Crikey.
Finally, Friday evening on day five, the dam burst and shit did start flowing. In fact as of Sunday night, it's still flowing.
Peace has been restored to Special K's world.
And a bog, inspired me to blog.
